Here's what I want to tell you:
You know how certain songs have strong emotional ties to certain times in your past. And when you hear those songs you are literally transported back to that time.
You are in that room, you remember the way the sun and shadows hit the wood floor and you recall the drawings you had made and tacked up on the wall.
Those are my details. But I am certain you know what I'm talking about.
In the early 1990s I was a very young mother. I was living outside of Boston and a full time Mom to an infant and a toddler. I was barely beyond childhood myself. I was in my early 20s but as I look back I see how achingly young I was. So young.
I had a college degree in painting. But I did not have the self-awareness and confidence to really do anything with that. I was in love with my small children but also so confused by my situation.
The apartment we rented had enough space for me to keep a painting studio. And I did work. Most of what I produced wasn't good and it is all long gone now. But working on it meant everything to me. It helped me to keep myself in view. And I held onto it so tight.
I remember that I had this Tracy Chapman tape in my studio and I listened to it often. Lately, I have noticed that this song has been playing on the radio in my car; at the cafe when I pick up coffee. As I sat at the cafe this morning and listened to it I could feel that lump you get in your throat. I wondered if it was trying to tell me something.