Friday, March 9, 2012

molly


it's been almost 2 years since my friend molly died.  i think about her almost every day.  you can get a small sense of how compelling she was from the picture above.  and truly i feel her spirit with me all the time.  

i sometimes wonder how she could be so spectacularly beautiful and talented and so humble.  she was a great potter and i can see some of her pottery near me as i type.  i once met her high school ceramics teacher and talked about molly with her.  she was a small older woman but had an imposing personality, i could tell.  i don't think she gave compliments out easily.  when i brought up molly with her she spoke with fondness and she said she had been one of her best students.  later, i told molly about this and she was genuinely surprised.  she smiled and she blushed.

i have another memory of molly which used to make me sad but not anymore.  one late afternoon she pulled up to my house.  i felt flustered at the time because the place was a mess, i felt kind of gross and unshowered (hey, this is a real life story!), and the truth was she was a little mythical to me in life.  that sounds goofy, but it's true.  she had no idea i felt this way and i'm sure our mutual friends would laugh to hear me say that.  she had a great sense of style, she was beautiful, she was utterly down-to-earth.  anyway, we sat on my front step and it was one of those perfect summer nights, warm but breezy.  you could hear the little league game across the street.  she took my weirdness and self-consciousness in stride and we just sat and talked.  she was completely accepting and i can feel myself back on that step in my mind.  i'm happy for having that moment with her.  and it reminds me to loosen up and not let insecurity get in the way of those times in life that mean most.

and one more- once when molly came into the coffee shop i worked at i stood at the counter opposite her with that amazing smile on her face and i felt an overwhelming need to give her something.  i'd just made a bracelet i was wearing and i took it off and gave it to her.  i told her i just really wanted her to have it.  i'm so glad i did that... that maybe in life she knew that i loved her.

i miss you molly.
--
if you are interested in contributing to a nursing scholarship in her memory through her sister's roller derby team you can read more about it here and follow the link to donate.  i would so appreciate it.  thank you.

19 comments:

Greenorchid said...

My best friend died 10 years ago yesterday aged 34, Angie... Like Molly an amazing woman who touched many lives... it is good to hear your memories... Their goodness is still very much felt by us all...
Smiles Cass x

Liane said...

thanks, cass. i'm so sorry to hear about angie.

btaylor said...

I'm so sorry you are missing your friend. I love how you've written about her. It's good to reflect on our lost loved ones....in this way they really aren't gone, but alive in our hearts and minds.

I lost my Mom on March 15, 2009. I can still see and hear her voice, like she could walk into the room at any minute.

onesilentwinter said...

a beautiful tribute liane, i lost my best friend and i think if her all the time. i feel lucky to have been her friend and have the memories i have. you r memories of molly are very special

Brit said...

bittersweet. she's beautiful. <3

Liane said...

briana- i'm so sorry about your mom. the memories we have really mean everything.

nadia- your best friend...it's so sad. thank you so much for commenting.

Nancy said...

thank you so much for your blog, I've been reading it for about six months now,and I love it. I too have lost a best friend, it leaves a big hole in your life for sure, she was a special talented soul too, I love how you share....

Brooke said...

What a sweet post. Made me cry! I'm so sorry you lost your friend. She sounds like a wonderful person.

Madhu said...

{{{hugs}}}}

tj said...

...I am so sorry for your loss Liane. Her photo alone emanates sunshine and she looks like she could've been everybody's friend. A sweet soul no doubt.

...She's lucky to have had you for a friend. No sweeter words could've been spoken here today.

...(((you)))

...Blessings

Emily Helmus said...

Though she's gone, how special it is that you have pieces of her work still with you! I'm sure they carry her spirit along with them.

I have friends like this as well. About one in particular, I was very intimidated by her simply because she was very stylish and talented, and just had this air of "cool" about her. After graduating, we quickly got to know each other through mutual friends. She's since moved away and has become one of my closest friends, understanding me in a way only a few others do. I get to visit her in two weeks and am VERY excited!

rebecca said...

liane,
i have no words right now, only a virtual hug.....

x
becky

Consider the Lilies said...

What a moving tribute to your friend. It is always hard to lose people we love, but I always try to remember how lucky we are to have even been fortunate enough to have had them in our lives. You look at the effect they have on us, how they changed us, how they loved us and you just have to feel blessed to know that are a part of who we are. I look back at my past 56 years and I know that there have been people who entered my life at specific times because I needed them there. They lifted me up when I need lifting, they encouraged or taught me when I needed to grow. And we sometimes forget that perhaps they needed us in there lives at that moment also. You are so lucky to have had such a beautiful soul who still influences you.

Erin said...

What a beautiful person she was to your life. It is amazing how much we learn from the people we love. Very true we need to loosen up and enjoy the moment more with those wonderful people close to us. Thank you for sharing.

sheila said...

those are some lovely lovely memories. so sorry for your loss.

Liane said...

thank you all so much for taking the time to comment here. it's heartbreaking to hear so many of you have lost friends. if you've been able to donate to the scholarship mentioned in the post i'm real grateful.. i could only donate a small amount but i figured if any of you were moved to do a little too then we might add up to something together. x

A Perfect Gray said...

that was beautiful. thank you. I can totally see so much of myself in the way you described yourself that day on the steps. so, so very me. thanks for a little validation. donna

Deb said...

A touching post and such a lovely tribute to a dear friend.

Hugs

dirtbike said...

gahh that made me tear up!

what a beautiful statement.

this should be a reminder to us all. cherish the people you love. tell them. give to them. flood them with your positive energy and intents. it won't stop the circle of life, but it will make our time living more enjoyable and fruitful.

blessed be!