my daughter olivia considered burlington, vermont her hometown for a long time. we moved there when she was 2 and moved away when she was 5. to feel it is where she comes from, i imagine what significance that place and that time hold for her. i guess at some of the reasons but i can't ever know the feeling she has for it in her heart. in other words, i cannot be her, can't feel her feelings.
motherhood is strange that way, being so linked but separate.
this picture has nothing to do with burlington, really, but i just received a one line email from my best friend back then. she wrote that she thinks i'm brave. it makes me cry with gratitude to get a message like that from her. because she knows me. and because i know that it's true. i am brave. and it feels really good to know something like this about yourself. if you can know beautiful things about the people you love you damn well be able to know beautiful things about yourself. it's as if knowing it makes me able to really live life.
i took this picture the other day at a pond i've been going to since i was little girl.
reading becky's email just now made me think of olivia. she is so full of courage you can feel it from miles away. or from across this little pond in our hometown.