Thursday, March 18, 2010

i get stuck on things and omg where did that last paragraph come from?

Have you noticed?  For instance, music, pictures, siberia and reindeer, certain textiles, siberia, reindeer...

And I've been stuck on this quilt.  I was frusterated today because I felt like my pictures weren't doing it justice.  You just have to be with it.  In person.  I love the fabrics used, the juxtapositions, the overall graphic quality, the fantastic fading, the fact that the pieces were hand-stitched together.  I put a couple of these together and in the shop today.

But my question to you is, does the fact that I love vintage quilts make me a Granny?  I mean, I'm not 20 but I'm not 80.  Not that there's anything wrong with either.  I'm just saying, why am I not into, like, something mod and you know, current?  Insecurities revealed.  And why am I even asking myself this question?

And on a different but somewhat related topic, there's a line in the Joanna Newsom song, Baby Birches, which goes "well, I wish I could take every path..."  It gives me a lump in my throat (side note-I hate the word lump)  everytime I hear it.  This is related to the above because....well, because, I feel myself and, holy carp, SEE myself getting older.  And I'm old enough now to look back and have some regrets and see the directions I might have gone but did not.  And people, I DO wish I could take every path.  Mostly because there is so much to do and to see.  And isn't that just the stinkingest and rottenest and most beautiful thing about life.  That you just get one.


amarshall said...

What a thoughtful post. First, you are allowed to love vintage quilts, they are really great! Second, I feel the same way, about seeing myself get older. I worry about making the best choices, going down the right path with my one life.

BananaSaurusRex said...

omg, I'm right there with ya. And I would absolutely take you out for something that isn't a wine cooler or a VO-n-Seven (I don't know, that's what my grandma drinks, god bless her) so we can talk about it.

Katherine said...

i feel you, lady. and yes, there are tears in my eyes right now. not sure if it has anything to with turning 30 a few months ago (not sure why, but it feels like a milestone), or being both terrified and amazed at how quickly my little boy is growing, or what, but it seems like life just moves too quickly.

i have often thought that the above feelings are the reason i (and perhaps, you, too) am so drawn to old textiles and anything handmade. i am pretty good at shutting people out, and at this point have no real desire to spend much time with anyone or anything other than henry, josh, and yarn or fabric in my hands. at this point in time, i have chosen to follow a path where i can keep those two very important people close by my side.

i know that when henry grows up i will have to choose a new path, so i am determined to experience and savor every minute of our current place.

eeeps, hope i didn't ramble too much... it's known to happen with me.

A Perfect Gray said...

oh yes...we share that human bittersweet, life, and the doors that close as we walk through...

shanna murray said...

favorite post i've read on the internets in years. i am stuck dead in that place you describe in your last paragraph, and couldn't agree more with the last sentence. such a strange new feeling, it prompts me daily to scoop up as much life as possible (that is when the feeling doesn't immobilize me!).

soak it all up!

susan said...

ya baby. i am with you. first off, i adore these pillows, the quilt is a piece of brilliance and am trying to figure out how i justify 150 on pillows cause one wouldnt be enough.

secondly. at 52 i think every day that i won't get to all that i wish, and curse the days which take me off course. then i remember it was the time OFF course which held the most meaning.

a very thoughtful, thought-filled post liane.

Lisa said...

yes, yes, yes! watching -and feeling- oneself get older is strange. i think about it every day as i approach 50. but i agree, it's also beautiful and bittersweet.

when i reflect too much on regrets and only-if's then i remember what i've learned about eternity. then i get excited :)

thanks for the thoughtful post, liane.

knittingiris said...

i hear you.

seems lately that whenever i'm telling somebody about something from my past I find myself saying, "well, but that was almost twenty years ago..."

since when do i say stuff like that, TWENTY YEARS AGO?!
it's kind of freaking me out.

littlebyrd said...

Yes! I feel the last paragraph. Just the last couple of years aging has started to really disturb me and at times I spend a stupid amount of time having anxiety about it. And no, loving quilts does not make you a granny! That's silly! I just re-watched your etsy portrait video and wanted to tell you how absolutely adorable you are.