i'm looking forward to this weekend. i want it to be a slow, productive, quiet couple of days. i have faith that it will be so.
i'm big on solitude. i can be by myself for long stretches and feel perfectly comfortable. it's in those times my mind slows down and i am most creative. i need a lot of space and time to reach my full potential.
i remember reading about some iconic artist who happened also to be a woman and a mother. i thought it may have been louise bourgeois but i'm doubting this now. anyway, this woman said she was perfectly comfortable in the studio working all day with her kids by her side. even then, as a 19 yo college kid, i thought, phew, really?? sounds complicated.
and now i feel like i have to make all sorts of qualifications out of mother guilt like, don't think i don't love my kids and i'm not saying i like working over parenting and if you, my kids are reading, i love you to all eternity so please don't misunderstand.
i remember back when my oldest kids were maybe 4 & 5 years old. they were 20 months apart. and i rented a small studio space to paint in. my husband was in graduate school and i worked part time jobs and we were broke.
i often had to bring my kids to the studio with me and it usually ended in disaster. i was distracted and impatient and frustrated and they sometimes ended up crying. i left feeling a failure at both.
anyway, my point is, i'm a person, who spent the last 20 years mothering, who really really likes her solitude in order to be her best creative self. this conflict and this conversation is one of the biggest in my life i think. being both things, a born creative with a bent for personal space and a mom, and not knowing how to manage any of it gracefully.
did you know i had no intention or knowledge i was going to write about this when i started here?? goofball. but there you have it. i certainly welcome your thoughts in the comments. i always read your comments, by the way. and i suspect that many of you are moms and creative folk so this may resonate.
on the work side:
FREE SHIPPING ON NECK WARMERS,COWLS, SCARFS THIS WEEKEND
they're in stock and will ship out quick.
and i hope your weekend is whatever you want it to be.