Friday, February 3, 2012

life here

morning light, morning work.

i slept poorly again last night.  i found myself in that circular pattern of thought where i'd worry on something, notice myself worrying, ask myself how i could quiet my mind. not find the answer and worry more.

i'm actually better than i was a year ago in that i can at least notice what is going on.  i'm working on creating some emotional distance between me and what is bothering me.  does that sound implausible?  what i mean is that i see that i am not my worries.  it's a distinction i'm new to.

i always feel kind of itchy talking like this.  like i'm taking myself too seriously.  like i should be interviewed for some self-help book, like there's one me talking all psychotherapist and the other me is giving a giant eye roll.

yeah, yeah...

so above is ye olde shack.  the morning light inspired me to take some pictures.  
i'm doing the usual today- working, eating, walking, drinking too much coffee.  

my car doesn't seem to be starting.  we'll see how that one plays out.

that's the deal here.


Brittan said...

love these photos of your space, liane.
i know exactly what you are talking about in terms of your worry and inner dialogue. i do the exact same thing and find that it is always worse in the middle of the night. i tend to also blow things out of proportion during this time as well which is ridiculous.
anyway, usually i will read something to distract my mind from what it is blabbering on about and that also helps me fall back asleep...
good luck with your car and have a peaceful day!

Michelle @ Give a Girl a Fig said...

Your home looks cozy and the light...

I know what you mean about worry...I'm not sure of your "religious" views, but for me, saying a prayer always helps. I give the worry to God...what's the saying? "He'll be up all night, anyway." Kinda funny...

Take care...get some sunshine...xoxo

tj said...

...Love there. :o)

...Ack, I just look at it like there's an Angel on one shoulder - the philosophical one. And a Devil on the other shoulder - the smarta**. Whatcha feel is whatcha feel, right? Feelings change. Life changes. It's a wild ride. ;o)

...Sheesh, I think I've had too much coffee this morn'. :o\

...Thanks for sharing the morning light. Don'tcha love it when Sunlight plays?

...Enjoy your day!

...Blessings :o)

Lora said...

"...i am not my worries...". i love that!! so good. :)

Unknown said...

I know the feeling. It sounds crazy, but my chiropractor gave me the best advice ever...sit with it. Just sit the dark...and see where the feelings lead you. Of course we don't want to. Because the feelings suck. And that is why we distract ourselves all day long. So we don't have to deal with it all. But I took his advice anyway. Because I like him. And he is kind and sweet. And sure enough. After 3 incredibly painful minutes...zzzzzzzzzzz. Fast asleep. Like a baby. Sounds counter intuitive, I know. But works like a charm.

Erin said...

What a gorgeous light comes in and plays in your work place! Herbal teas instead of coffee for a week might do a wonderful magic ;)

Sonia / Cozy Memories said...

Thing is, once in a while you must take yourself seriously. (not you specifically of course, but everyone) I'm no psychologist or psychotherapist, but one of the most effecient ways of unknotting knots in your mind, or clearing away what worries you, is to put a distance with what actually produces the worry. Once you visualize the worry itself, it's easier to deal with the problem & get rid of it.
My two cents though. Easier said than done, I know.
Sending you all my love & my most positive thoughts.

Julie said...

this happens to me too. I have found that getting up and doing very gentle yoga/stretches by candlelight helps shift my perspective from worry to peacefulness. wish you the best.

Mona said...

I 've recently stumbled upon your blog, and spend a few nights reading, looking, marvelling and occasionally giggling. I had such a good time that I opened a bottle of wine a made it a small party. (That wine was a christmas present from 2010, indicating it's not something I do often - the wine drinking). I admire all of your creations, especially the natural dyed stuff. I also really dig your special sense of humor (hope that's not a too nerdy thing to write). And well, your honesty.
I had a kind of rough time when I was younger, but one thing that for sure made life quite a lot easier was the notion about not BEING my emotions - but HAVING them. This is my inner picture: imagine you are the sea, a great , big, deep sea. Imagine the waves, sometime very quiet, sometimes huge, wild and roaring (and sometimes inner disturbances causes a tzunami). Those waves are your emotions. But I you let yourself sink just beneath the surface - there's this vast space of tranquility - and it's all yours. This really gave me some peace of mind, hope you can use it too.

manda said...
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Nix said...

labels of your post read 'home life shit crap', amusing indeed.

I love your honesty and openness about those weird journeys the mind goes on - I can identify. I am an overthinker, but have got better of late. I guess I have become comfortable with the chaos of not knowing everything and worked hard to make the best of the things that are in my control.

Now I feel weird and psychobabbly :)

You inspire me x