couple things
(or more than)
feeling the urge to chat.
i have been struggling with what i think is tendonitis in my left elbow and finding it painful to do simple things like use scissors and pick up my coffee cup. lugging firewood around is not helping. i struggle to put my seatbelt on in the car. this is making me feel frustrated but also defeated and old. i know anyone can have this problem but i tend to chock a lot up to age since, oh, i turned 40. i alternate between whining and doing my best to be a big girl. i mean woman.
i just ate half a box of jelly beans. i focused in on the mixed drink inspired flavors for a bit and decided yes on the pina colada, nay to the margarita.
if you've been following this blog for awhile (too long...i didn't say that) you'll remember i used to go for a lot of walks. they weren't exercise walks. they were therapy walks. and i don't mean the kind of pleasant pondering stroll you might be imagining, i'm talking something akin to pacing but in one direction where my face is all screwed up tight in an ugly pretzel shape and it looks like my head might pop off.
thank god for those walks. they pretty much saved my ass. but anyway.
i stopped taking them maybe 2 years ago. and ever since i've missed not the reason for taking them but the activity of them. it was my kind of meditation. i don't want to jinx myself but this year i really want to get back to it.
2013 is supposed to be a real good year for geminis. like, pinnacle.
the rob brezny gemini horoscope this week says:
Do you understand just how much power you have to create the life you want to live in 2013? Are you fully aware of just how much access you have to new resources?
i really honestly think this may be true!
i'm gonna ponder that as i get back into long walking this year.
a different gentler kind of walking with intention and optimism.
xx
11 comments:
I just turned 48! I mean.It's hard Christmas, birthday and New Year all in 1 week. I remember I thought 30 was a struggle.I have trouble with my hip after a life of trying to out do myself with hard work. Gardening,building shop work all wear and tearing. I slipped onto my log pile and seem to have something wrong with my elbow. Any way we have horrible weather foggy and yukky. It's supposed be snowing and very cold next week. My computer screen is broken. I don't know as the years wind by it's like bring it on. Love your blog style and frankness. You seem like a lot of fun and you don't seem at all screwed up. Mad but in a good way.
I don't think anyone can follow your blog for too long, lady. I think I have carpal tunnel and my knees hurt. I find myself blaming it on my 40s too. I also ate a whole bunch of 'every flavour beans' from honeydukes we got last week when we took the boys to Harry Potter World. They had a great time but my legs are still mad at me and I'm mad at my old legs. Hope your new year is totally magical and mythical.
Liane, you're an inspiration to me. And, for some reason this incredibly open, honest and somewhat humorously painful post was something for me to meditate on for a while. It helps that it's accompanied by some incredibly beautiful photographs of new work. Thanks for everything you do! And, for giving this 30-something the courage to keep doing what I love all day, every day ... even if it's never easy. <3
Oh those pillows are just gorgeous!
you're one of the great ones lady. "mad, but in a good way"
thanks for comments! and jane, i swear i'm making "mad, but in a good way" my new byline. genius.
xo
Re- the tendonitis ... have you tried Wintergreen essential oil ? (Gaultheria procumbens) I had something close to a shoulder tendonitis in November, and after reading a little about it, I found a mix that almost worked like magic. (after almost a week of massage with it) Can't remember now the exact recipe (just a base vegetal oil & a couple of essential oils), but I'll look for it tomorrow & will send it to you rigth away. I know how pissing off it is. It would wake me up at night each time I tried to flip. Hang in there.
Much love ox
I love your new pillows--the hand-dyed patterns remind me, for some reason, of the surface of the moon. I find that lovely.
All of your work is so honest, and for many years, that made me uncomfortable. After a couple of really difficult years myself, I feel that I understand your work more now. Thank you for all that you do. Please know that you are strengthening others, day by day.
Just so you know, I just toasted (in organic red wine) for you to get into a new and healing walking habit. With trees and without pretzels.
Here's to Walking!
This is a beautiful post and very inspiring to me. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share.
As a fellow Gemini, I sincerely hope that 2013 is a good, even pinnacle, year for many of us. 2012, for me, felt like an ever-increasingly emotionally draining hell-scape, with much death and loss and mangled friendship and pining for when things felt simpler. 2013 has dawned with some hope, and I'm seeing ways to traverse and bridge my metaphorical chasms between those that have hurt me deeply or with whom I've become a bit estranged. I'm cautiously optimistic for us all in this coming year. I hope your walks return to your routine and that your elbow mends. I hope 2013 is a beautiful year for you.
so, i've been hurting there too, the elbow mostly, sometimes the hand/fingers (they feel cold.) but mainly i can't bear weight without supporting my arm/elbow. my sister-in-law is a masseuse and she poked around a bit. seems our bodies are super great at compensating and the shoulder is a huge culprit for this. she thinks the real injury was up there at the shoulder and that the elbow and wrist/hand have been working double time to cover for the shoulder taking a break. our bodies learn these compensations really well and it's hard to get them to stop. so i've taken to conscientiously making my shoulder (which doesn't hurt) get off its duff and do the work it's supposed to do. the rest of my arm is grateful. i also try to roll my shoulders down and back, sit up straight, and try not to use the laptop on my lap... that's a really bad position for me and may have been the main reason for the troubles in the first place.
anyway, i hope you feel better really soon. it sucks when physical injuries get in the way of our making. i mean, if you're at all like me, there's enough mental blocks to clammer over already!
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