polaroid
i want to talk about how really wonderful the wedding was and how the vows were loooooooong but entirely specific and authentic and captivating and how i danced for hours no joke and was really in the zone bc the DJ was so ON IT.
but i've got all sorts of OTHER swirling around in my head.
my car is being a real shit head. it's either the battery or alternator and i have to jump it to get anywhere and right now i'm trying to jump it with a little mobile jumper but not having luck.
so i'm blogging instead.
as soon as i get the thing going i'm going to one of those auto parts hell stores to get what i need then hopefully plugging a couple slow leaks on a couple tires which, prior, i've been periodically filling to get by.
i tell you all this because in a previous lifetime i may have called a tow truck and had my mechanic just FIX IT. but life changes. the upside is that i understand how the battery and alternator and starter are all related (sort of) and i don't have to look at old receipts to remember my car is a V6. the downside is i'd rather be drinking coffee and doing anything else.
and there are other items on my worry list. big ones. ones which, frankly, are not public blog material. and there are good but also anxiety producing things happening for instance, I'M MOVING!
...
i want to tell you that this morning i was thinking how my life is A LOT of this and A LOT of that. it's not a little of anything. it's been this way for a few years now.
there's a big amount of oh shit how are we going to get through this and an excess of change and adjustment and serious heartache. and worry. my brow is a-furrowed. i could learn the same lesson with less.
but at the wedding this weekend i was thinking how there are some people in this life who are really IN IT. they commit no matter what. they are full of life even though half of it is shit and all of it absurd. and they do and say dumb shit and act as pathetically and beautifully human as they can.
and mostly i want to say i totally fucking choose that.
love,
liane
